I am an e-thot (the e stands for eggs and crumpets on a trumpet)
I'm far from amazing, only 222 cm tall and 136 kilos with meat scepters for fingers and thicc ankles.
All I eat is pickles in an ASMR fashion, only, the crunch reminds me of breaking my way out of my own rib cage at a young age, a fond memory.
Only a man roughly the size and shape of Tinky Winky will satisfy me.
I'm an actual pirate, y'arr me mateys.
I once punched a man in the face and smiled as I bathed in his blood.
Need a massage at all times.